birth class, day 3

Kevin is doubting what his role in labor might be, just as I'm turning the corner on my labor fears.

during class:
Birth Class Instructor: A woman doesn't change her spots in labor. If she's the type to turn inward and not ask for help, then that's what she'll do during labor.
Kevin (aside, to me): Then why am I even here?

later, on the drive home:
Amy: I'm sure you'll have lots of stuff to do during labor. Remind me to go to the bathroom, give me Popsicles, remind me to breathe and not clench my jaw. That's a lot of stuff to do.
Kevin: Yeah, but it's like you're Michael Jordan and I'm Steve Kerr. No, that's not a good analogy. Steve Kerr actually made some game-winning shots.
Amy: I'm not Michael Jordan. I'm more like Kobe Bryant.
Kevin: I was trying to think of someone more selfish than Michael Jordan and Kobe just popped into my head.

So it's not that I'm unwilling to accept help during labor, but both Kevin and I doubt my capacity to request help - just the way Kobe would be willing to receive a pass, but not hand out the assists.

I keep reminding Kevin that his job is to make sure that I'm well stocked with Popsicles. I'm actually ridiculously excited for the sheer numbers of Popsicles I suspect I'll down during my 36 hours of labor.

Also, Kevin's probably reached his limit for birth videos. Today we watched three births, and at the start of the second birth he moaned, "I don't want to see this woman's vagina." Poor guy.

everyone's Ann Landers

Little kids are fascinated by pregnancy. It's a fact. And, really, I think little boys might be even more fascinated than little girls. (The jury's still out, but it's a theory I'm working on.)

Today, I was offered some advice that kind of broke my heart, from a little girl named Ana Sofia. Our conversation:

Ana Sofia: Can I give you some advice?

Amy: Sure.

Ana Sofia: You should remember to breathe. Once when my mom was pregnant she didn't breath and she fainted.

*** at this point, I'm thinking, "wow, this actually is some good advice, and from a 5 year old!"***

Ana Sofia: And then when she had her baby, the baby wasn't breathing, and my little sister died.

Amy: (moment of shocked pause) Oh, wow Ana Sofia, I'm really sorry to hear that, but thank you for sharing, and that is really good advice.

Wow. That was pretty tough, and really unexpected.

hiccups

Last night, while we were reading in bed, BDR had her first set of fetal hiccups.

At first Kevin and I thought she was dancing to Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of the Cure (specifically, "Just Like Heaven"). But the kicks started coming just a little regularly, so hiccups it was.

Speaking of the Rockabye Baby! albums, they're actually quite nice. My parents gave us the Beach Boys at Christmas, and Kevin recently added the Cure, Radiohead, and Led Zeppelin to the collection. We'll also be adding Nirvana, the Beatles, the Pixies, the Ramones, and U2 in coming months. The release of Baby Pixies coincides with BDR's release date...coincidence?

(I should note my mother refused to buy Baby Led Zeppelin as she said it was "scary" and "disturbing," but take a listen to the samples on the website: they're actually kind of nice! Really, when you arrange rock music with xylophones, glockenspiels, and keyboards, how scary can it be?)

birth class, day 2

It seems fitting that since love got us into this mess, we'd have a birth class on Valentine's Day.

Last night's session was full of great insights. For example:

- The only thing you can take for the pain when labor starts? Ice cream.

- During the "active" phase of labor, your wife no longer will laugh at your jokes. (Kevin: But what if she never laughed at them to begin with?)

- You can tell what stage of labor a woman is in by looking at her face. During "transition," the most painful phase, she looks like this:
As you can tell, there's a lot of anger and pain in this picture. My favorite part are the tears.

- Kevin should give me lots of foot massages. In fact, that's his homework!

- And, most curiously: the baby will be given an ankle monitor to prevent her from being stolen. I suppose this is reassuring, but mostly it makes me think my baby's being tagged for sale at a store...

birth class, day 1

Tonight was our first birth class at the Medical Foundation. It's interesting to note that of the 8 couples there, we were the only ones who didn't know the sex of our baby. More interesting, however, was the tremendous difference in my reaction from Kevin's reaction to the material presented.

When examining a poster depicting a 35-week pregnant woman.
Kevin: Your body is so cool.
Amy: Um, why is my stomach behind my breasts?

This is what I currently look like, organ-wise. The stomach is making its upward creep. Note the location of the liver. Aye caramba!

Or, during the cheesy "Stages of Birth" video.
Kevin: Childbirth is so cool.
Amy: The video made me want to cry. I could cry now just thinking about it.

We did learn a few important tips, though. For example: our baby will probably come out looking like a deformed, gooey, bluish alien. Cutting an umbilical cord will feel "crunchy." While in the first stage of labor, you should go for a hike.

I feel so much more prepared already.

Baby Davis-Ross, Preview Edition #3

The last week of Trimester Two.
27 weeks down, 13 to go.

bring on the pixie sticks

Yay! No gestational diabetes, and some "very slight" anemia. So far, sailing remains remarkably smooth.

well-wishes

From a well-intentioned 8 year old: "I hope your baby comes out."

Feel free to read it two ways.

Either, "I hope your baby sometimes escapes the confines of your abdomen, as it is clear you are increasingly uncomfortable and heavy of breathing."

Or, "I hope your baby turns out well, like a nicely risen and baked loaf of bread."