birth class, day 2

It seems fitting that since love got us into this mess, we'd have a birth class on Valentine's Day.

Last night's session was full of great insights. For example:

- The only thing you can take for the pain when labor starts? Ice cream.

- During the "active" phase of labor, your wife no longer will laugh at your jokes. (Kevin: But what if she never laughed at them to begin with?)

- You can tell what stage of labor a woman is in by looking at her face. During "transition," the most painful phase, she looks like this:
As you can tell, there's a lot of anger and pain in this picture. My favorite part are the tears.

- Kevin should give me lots of foot massages. In fact, that's his homework!

- And, most curiously: the baby will be given an ankle monitor to prevent her from being stolen. I suppose this is reassuring, but mostly it makes me think my baby's being tagged for sale at a store...